Updated June 2020

When faced with conflict, do you tend to look at the situation objectively or do you generally assume the other person is wrong? Do you assume that you know what the facts are already before listening to what the other person has to say?

When emotions are involved in any situation, our sense of reasoning can be a bit foggy which could lead us to look at the problem subjectively. We see things from our point of view.

Age doesn’t equal maturity

I can tell you what doesn’t determine the level of a person’s maturity – age! Just because a person is older, it doesn’t mean that they are mature.

I believe that life’s experiences develop our maturity faster than age ever will. Our level of maturity is determined by our environment, what our minds consume and the people we surround ourselves with.

I’ve seen adults with academic qualifications that have no emotional intelligence. I’ve also seen people who have dropped out of school but are some of the smartest people I know.

Recognising the signs of an immature person

Lack of responsibility

If a person acts irresponsibly, that is a sign of immaturity. Children grow up and are expected to move out to make a life for themselves. Sometimes, these children grow into adults and still rely on their parents or others to hand them things in life. There is a lack of responsibility and a feeling of entitlement also exists.

Blaming others

Some people believe that nothing is ever their fault. It is always someone else that caused a problem in their life. Irresponsible people always have excuses for every solution offered to them. They never own up to their mistakes because that will mean admitting fault. Immature people see nothing wrong with their actions and are happy to keep living in their current situation.


Ignorance is bliss. This might be the reason why people who know so little talk so much. I’ve noticed that responsible, mature people, talk less and observe more. They watch what others do and don’t force their beliefs on anyone. Immature people don’t know any better yet they walk around as if they know everything about everything.

Emotional tantrums

Have you ever gotten the silent treatment after a fight with a friend or someone close to you? Taking time apart after a fight is a great way to gather your thoughts. But if the silent treatment continues longer than it should, then you might be dealing with an immature person. Mature people will rather hear the hard truths by communicating and sorting out the problem.

Immature people can also react with outbursts of emotions. They may get loud, abusive or accuse you of something that you didn’t do. They haven’t learned how to control their emotions.

All of us will encounter people like this at some point in our lives so it is important to recognise the warning signs.

Engaging with an immature person can be detrimental to our mental health. Try to minimise the amount of time you spend around an immature person without cutting them off completely.

Often, immature people are not aware of their immaturity because of their ignorance. It is not your job to fix them either. You can help them but also make sure that your state of mind is your priority.

How do you develop a mature mindset?

Being accountable and taking responsibility for your actions

We feel good when others acknowledge us for doing something great. But how do we react if we messed up?

We need to own up to our mistakes and apologise. People respect those who admit if they were wrong. Acknowledge your error and learn from it.

You will grow as a person and do better next time. If someone corrects your error, don’t fight back.

Listen to the other person’s opinion, they could be adding value to your life with their advice. Sometimes, we need to let our guard down to become better versions of ourselves.

Understanding that others actions are not a reflection of you

How often do we take things that others do personally? You may not want to hear this but not everything is about you. We have a lot going on in our lives.

Some of us have not mastered the skill of juggling life as yet. We are getting there.

I remember when I decided to take a break from social media for about two years. When I got back online, most of my followers and friends were still there. But there were a few people who thought I intentionally deleted them, so they blocked me.

This shows how self-centered people are. Things that others do may not have anything to do with you at all.

Taking action

It takes time to reach goals in life. We don’t get everything we want immediately. Some people want to reach new levels without putting in the work.

Lazy people hate on others that are working hard in life. Mature people know that actions speak louder than words, so less talking and more action. It takes a mature person to acknowledge all the challenges they are faced with but still focus on the positive things to reach new levels.

Embracing change

Life and circumstances are constantly changing. You could be perfectly fine today and God forbid you’re involved in a life-changing accident tomorrow.

We need to adapt to the changes life brings. If you are unable to adapt, you will spend the rest of your life being miserable, hoping that others change so you can be happy.

Maturity could also mean evaluating your life and looking for ways to adapt to change. While others complain, a mature person will look at the opportunities that exist and find ways to use those opportunities in their favor.

Embracing change also helps you to reach new levels in your life. You can download this guide which shows you how to reach your full potential.

Accepting reality for what it is

If you are not where you want to be right now, accept the current situation while working towards what you want. Even though it’s hard now, it will get better.

I know there are many times when I feel anxious about my situation. Whenever I feel this way, I think back to the major obstacles I overcame in life. This gives me the strength to remember that bad times don’t last forever. We overcame everything life threw at us and we are still here.

Many of us are far from where we want to be in life. But we can still push forward with everything we currently have. As we develop our skills and learn more about who we truly are, a mature mindset will develop even further.