Do you ever feel like you’re misunderstood? One of the most frustrating feelings in the world is to be misunderstood. Most, if not all of us, just want to be heard. As we grow an develop in life, our views change and we tend to outgrow the people we grew up with.
It can be a challenging time. Especially when you try to hold on to something that starts to feel ‘off’. Why does this happen and what can you do about it?
Everyone’s life story is different and just because you lived your life in a certain way before, does not mean that that you cannot change. You don’t have to be the same person you were a year ago or even yesterday.
Change is the only constant and change means that you are doing something right!
Why should you surround yourself with people on the same mission as you?
- Quality of thoughts
You are more than likely to adopt the habits of the people you surround yourself with. If you look at the people that you spend the most time with in your life, ask yourself: do they elevate, challenge and inspire you? Or do they bring you down with negative thoughts and drama?
Sometimes we hold on to people or situations longer than we need to because it is comfortable or familiar. But being comfortable is not where growth happens. If you keep doing the same thing, you cannot expect different results.
The quality of your thoughts affects the actions you take in life. You can change the quality of your thoughts by either being around high-quality people who have bigger ideas than you do or changing your environment.
- You shouldn’t be the smartest person in the room
If you are the smartest person that you know, then it’s time to seek new people in your life. It is so important that we continuously learn so that we can grow. If you don’t surround yourself with people you can learn from, it becomes challenging to grow in life.
For many years I surrounded myself with the same people based on the history I shared with them. I felt guilty for distancing myself because of some of these people I knew my entire life. The internal conflict I had with myself was based on outgrowing people. I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
I decided to change my thoughts, actions and entire life because I thought that those I surrounded myself with were stuck in the past. When I think about it now, I don’t think that they are stuck in the past, I think that they are comfortable with who they are and don’t see personal development as important.
After many inner conflicts, I decided to lean towards those I can learn from and those that challenge my views. By doing this, I am slowly creating new thoughts that are leading to a new life.
- People who haven’t been where you’ve been
If those that you surround yourself with haven’t been where you’ve been, it is almost impossible for them to understand you. No matter how hard they try, they won’t be able to relate to you.
People often try to connect with each other by saying ‘I understand how you feel’. If they haven’t been in your situation, they cannot understand how you feel. This statement grates me every time.
I knew two people: the first person’s child passed away and the other person went through a divorce. When the person experiencing loss of a child was faced with depression, the divorced person told the mother of loss that she understood how the mother felt! Jaw drop! The divorced person did not even have kids. The divorced person compared her divorce to losing a child. It’s official, stupid people are everywhere!
- People who have been where you want to go
Many people have already achieved the things you want to achieve in life.
We should look up to these people as mentors and people who inspire us to be better. A person with an open mind will listen to the views of others, even if it challenges their own. Challenging views are a great way to grow and do things differently to what you believed was true in the past.
Successful people have achieved their goals because of the actions they took. Observe these people and ask questions so that you can also elevate yourself and shift your mindset.
Not so long ago, I spent a lot of time with people who spoke about what they wanted to achieve in life. The problem was that all these people did was speak instead of executing. When I spoke about my goals, I often was laughed at. The difference was that I was executing.
I went from hanging around the dreamers to hanging around people who questioned and challenged me without taking offence. I used successful people that challenge me to elevate me and watched how they do what they do and why they do what they do.
The thoughts, ideas and conversations are different. I don’t feel stupid in a room full of successful people, instead I am grateful to get the opportunity to learn from these people.
- Raise your standards
Stop settling for anything that doesn’t bring you the most joy. Whether it’s people, a job or a situation. Let it all go and raise your standards. It doesn’t matter what others think of you.
Who cares what others think? If you are not causing harm to anyone in the process, re-evaluate your life and get rid of toxicity. Stop holding on to anything that expired in your life.
Let them judge you or even hate you, it doesn’t matter. If people choose not to support your decisions in your life, you need to find new people. Criticism, snarky remarks and negativity should be a thing of the past. It doesn’t matter who these people are, if they bring negativity to you, let them go.
- Let go of the old to make place for new
If we hold on to things that no longer have a place in our lives, there will be no place for new things to enter.
Think of your life as a suitcase, if you carry around all your old clothes, you won’t be able to buy anything new because you will have no space for it.
But think about those old clothes that you outgrew, they don’t fit you anymore so why would you keep them? Friends or people that you knew when you were younger might have been good for you back then but sooner or later, we outgrow certain people or situations, It is up to us to realise when it is time to let go so that better things can enter our lives.
- Let go of low-quality people
Low-quality people will drown you with their negativity and drama. Learn to spot them early and don’t keep these people in your life. If a person constantly complains, gossips or is negative, that is a low-quality person and they can be draining.
You become like the people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with successful people, your chance of you becoming successful too is very likely. Similarly, if you surround yourself with negative people, sooner or later you will also adopt that vibe and become negative too.
Your vibe WILL eventually attract your tribe
Don’t worry about those that misunderstand you. Even though it’s tough when you feel like a misfit, there are plenty of people out there who will understand you. But those people might not be in front of you.
I always felt like a misfit but I found my people when I started doing the things I love. I found them during my solo travels and at crazy music festivals.
When I started pursuing all the things I love, I met people who have similar personalities and interests. Life is so much better when you finally find at least one other person who gets you, but until then, keep doing what you love, even if others don’t understand you. Never change for someone else’s idea of who they think you should be.
Always be true to yourself!