Feeling empty comes from within you and is not necessarily influenced by external factors such as other people or things. It can be difficult to understand, and could be described as feeling emotionally detached or numb.

Even if you have good things happening in your life, you can still feel a sense of unfulfillment. This is because emptiness is an intrinsic feeling.

Sometimes, people who seem to have it all (things like fame, money and success) could still be unhappy which might be puzzling for others to understand. Since all of these things are external, if a person is not fulfilled internally, no amount of external validation will be able to change the feeling of numbness.

The first step to helping yourself is to acknowledge the situation and find tools to help you work through the feelings you are experiencing.


a person walking up the stairs


Why you might be feeling empty

Maybe you feel like you haven’t found your purpose yet, or maybe you aren’t doing what you love. Whatever the reason for feeling empty might be, it is a feeling that can leave you debilitated and constantly drained. You might start questioning your reason for being.

You are not alone; many people experience this. It takes time to figure life out, some people never figure life out and that’s totally okay too. Worrying about feeling empty and lost inside increases anxiety and depression. It’s also good to know that when we have anxiety or depression, we often have negative feelings about our negative feelings. What a cycle!

It’s okay to have both negative and positive thoughts or feelings, let the feelings and thoughts come and go. You shouldn’t feel bad about having negative thoughts, just as long as your negative thoughts are not the only thoughts you experience.

  • Feeling lonely

Loneliness can be caused by many confusing feelings, for example, you might be surrounded by a bunch of people or have a busy social life, and still feel lonely.

I reached my loneliest point when I had the most people around me. It’s tiring to put on a fake smile all the time and hide your true feelings. Sometimes you might feel like nobody understands you or the people you surround yourself with have different values than you.

Loneliness is dangerous, so it’s good to be mindful of your thoughts. Being mindful means that you should be aware of what you are thinking and being in the present moment.

  • Lack of fulfillment

Many things can cause a lack of fulfillment. What one person may find irrelevant can be a serious issue for another person. Intentionally or unintentionally, people might be judgmental towards you based on the type of problems you are dealing with.

If you perceive another person’s problems as being bigger than yours, you may feel uncomfortable sharing your story with them. You shouldn’t feel this way because we all have problems. Just because someone might have a problem that may be perceived as more important than yours, it doesn’t make your problem any less important.

Maybe you got comfortable in whatever situation you are in, whether it’s in your job or accepting poor treatment from others that led you to a feeling of emptiness.


Office environment

If you feel this way, practice simple tasks to help you cope. Try to find things that bring you joy and clarity such as taking a walk to get some fresh air. It’s amazing how a simple activity like getting fresh air can make you feel better.

Try to surround yourself with different people who are able to add value to your life because the conversations and energy will be different. People who can motivate and inspire you will add more value to your life than any monetary value will. They will help you grow personally. Change your environment if possible, little changes can make a huge difference to your mental health.

  • Lack of love and care (childhood into adulthood)

Many of us had traumatic experiences growing up and not everyone handles trauma in the same way. Some people work hard to create a life that is the complete opposite of their childhood.

Unfortunately, other people seem to carry their childhood with them into adulthood. They do this unintentionally because they are unsure about how to process their emotions. If not addressed, these feelings can creep up into their adult lives and create a never-ending cycle of trauma.

If you had a traumatic childhood, it is not your fault. Children cannot control how they are raised or who raises them.

I personally experienced childhood trauma so I speak from experience when I say that you might think that your life is great and then one day, out of nowhere, a childhood memory creeps up and takes you right back to what you thought you dealt with long ago. How annoying!

It is so important to seek professional help to enable you to deal with your feelings. You need to realise that you hold the power to creating a life you love: a life where you can be anything you want to be, and no matter how old you are, you can always start over if you are not truly happy. It’s never too late.

  • Anxiety and depression

Some people think and some people overthink. Just how much thinking is classified as overthinking? I’m not sure. But judging by my question, I am probably one of those people who overthink.

Recently, I started seeing a therapist because I felt it will be good for a professional to tell me why I struggle with anxiety. I am getting tired of managing a panic attack or having anxiety about anxiety.

I am making progress and it’s also helping me to be more mindful and be in the present moment. I am beginning to manage my thoughts better and I am letting my thoughts come and go and not live in my mind for too long.

Dealing with anxiety and depression might make you believe that your life is not fulfilled. Sometimes we create our own problems that exist only in our minds. Sometimes these thoughts will never become our reality, yet we still tend to focus on them.

The journey of life

Professional lady

We are all on this journey called life and we know that it is not easy. We can be surrounded by many people and still feel lonely. This is because feeling empty comes from the inside. No amount of money, friends, people or parties will make you feel less empty until you deal with the root of the problem.

You can travel the world or have lots of money in the bank but if you don’t fix yourself on the inside, the outside will never make you happy. Get to know who you really are so that your happiness can manifest from the inside and is not based on external validation that so many people seek.

True fulfillment comes from the inside.